Deer In the Headlights || Leo & Emerson
leo-fisher:
As Emerson spoke, Leo watched him. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, listening to what he said. Was it just him, or were things starting to get…different. It felt like the air was thickening with some kind of tension. Something was about to break, but Leo wasn’t quite sure he wanted to be around for that. If he had his way, he’d be asleep right now. He’d only gotten up to make some food and unpack a little. And now…now Emerson was… Fuck, he couldn’t deal with this. Not when it was so late, not while he was in this mood. It was only his first day (well…second now) and already he had been through enough weird shit to last him for the next couple weeks.
“Guess so,” he agreed, studying Emerson. No, it felt too weird to look at him. Weird because of Mason, and Belfry, and the fact that Emerson looked like he was fifteen. Weird because Leo had been sober for eleven months and now he wanted a drink. There was a whole host of reasons why this was weird, but some part of Leo wanted to ignore that. Because while everything was weird…it was also incredibly interesting. Call it the sheltered childhood. Leo liked discovering things. He liked seeing how people reacted to situations. He liked seeing everything the world had to offer. Books could only give you so much, and Leo had always wanted more. He liked learning, which coupled well with his desire to help people. The more he knew, the more he could help. And people like Emerson would get better. People like…like Mason.
He couldn’t lie. Mason was the whole reason he had become a doctor. He remembered way back when. He had barely been seventeen when they got the call. Broken neck, they said. No hope of healing. But he had died instantly, which wasn’t as comforting as it sounded. What was instant, anyway? Things always took so much time. Even a brief second of pain was too much, especially for someone like Mason. But Leo didn’t want to dwell on it. Thinking too hard only made him sad, and depression lead to drinking, lead to…well, that wasn’t a story for now. Or ever. He had moved past that. Things were good, and it was just the way Leo liked it.
But Mason…Mason had been everything. Leo had wanted to make sure other people wouldn’t suffer the same fate. Sure, Mason’s death had been an accident, but it had still happened away from home. If Mason had been just a little stronger, he would have still been at college, or even back home. He’d still be alive. And that thought hurt more than it should have, considering all the time that had passed. Shouldn’t he have healed by now? Or was this more of what the grief counselor had called…dwelling? Leo couldn’t just let go of his brother’s death, that was it. He projected. He got upset. He…drank. Or used to, anyway. Now he was better. Sober. A goddamn doctor.
“Friends are important,” Leo said slowly, “but being alone is also important too. You need to learn how to do things on your own, or else you won’t become self sufficient.” Mason learned that the hard way, he thought. “And if you don’t become self sufficient, you can’t survive on your own. You’ll always depend on other people, and that’s not a good thing. It might seem easy at first, but things will get worse. They always do.” But then Emerson was moving forward, and a warm weight was settling on his hips and fuck, Leo’s brain completely short-circuited. He bit down on his tongue at the feel of Emerson’s hands. This was wrong. So wrong. But…fuck fuck fuck.
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Emerson was really liking Leo. He liked the way he looked young, but the way he acted so mature. It was probably one of the reasons he liked Mason as well. He liked how Leo seemed to be confident in his words. He liked how even at the time of night, Leo was still willing (willing enough) to have a conversation with Emerson. Belfry needed more people like that, definitely. If only he could try and tell the important people-fuck their names-that. The only thing that made the place feel official was the giant gate out front. Otherwise, it didn’t seem much of a great place to go for help. If they had more staff like Leo, then this place would go up in ratings so fast they wouldn’t have enough rooms again to fill the patients needs.
Nibbling his lip, Emerson began to realize that he would be here to watch and see how Belfry would grow-or wither-and he kind of liked that idea. He had such mixed feelings towards being dead. It was good, he was with Mason forever, he would never have to go through dying again, could watch things expand and grow more intelligent. But it was bad, he was stuck here forever, couldn’t leave, it would get lonely. How could Leo not believe in them? His brother was a ghost. They were tortured souls almost and Leo didn’t now or didn’t care. He had to believe in them. Emerson would try and convince him at one point. Maybe before he saw Mason so it wouldn’t come as such a…surprise. Or maybe not. Conversing with Leo, though, was the first step. He seemed to be getting along just fine with that part, anyway. The rest would fall into place. At least, it should.
“I can do things on my own. I’m actually very good at that. However, I can’t seem to…find joy in it. I need to be around other people in order to keep me ‘sane’. Because..well…if we were meant to be alone then why are there so many others around us? I don’t know. Like I said, I could survive on my own, I just prefer not to. So..being lonely would be…depressing..” Shrugging, Emerson smiled at Leo. This whole conversation had been unexpected. Meeting Leo had been unexpected, too, and Emerson seemed to like it. A lot, rather. Leo seemed like a good guy. Of course he was though, he came from the same family as Mason. Emerson had no doubt they were wonderful sons.
While he was beginning to admire Leo, and the way his expressions came as he spoke, Emerson couldn’t help but just be so turned on by it all. See, hypersexuality might not seem like such a bad thing. Except when it was making you horny for your boyfriend’s brother. Emerson had to be thinking of Mason, somewhere in him, he was thinking of Mason. He had wanted him to begin with, anyway. Walking down the hallway before he ran into Leo’s office, he had been wanting Mason. But Mason had wanted to sleep for once. Therefore, Emerson had to oblige to him, be nice. Only now he was in this situation. Wanting to fool around with his insanely attractive brother. Again, he was an older Mason, it was three in the morning (or something, right?) and Emerson was desperate to be pleasured.
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(Source: emerson-shmitt)